


Confidence

by MayLovelies



Series: Senator!Ben, Pilot Poe drabbles/oneshots/ficlets [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Drabble, Family, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-05
Updated: 2016-05-05
Packaged: 2018-06-06 12:23:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6753649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayLovelies/pseuds/MayLovelies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life has changed drastically for Ben and Poe. Ben is an acclaimed senator of the New Republic, while Poe, after a recent crash can no longer be a Republic pilot anymore due to injury. The two decide to meet again after years, regardless of all that's changed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Confidence

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of my Senator!Ben AU.

 

“It's been some time. I didn't expect to see you back in Yavin IV so soon.” Poe spoke with a casual smirk on his face. “As far as you've gotten, it's pretty rare for you to be back here.”

Ben was taken back by Poe's tone. Sure he was joking, as he always had, but something about his tone sounded sharp. “It's been difficult, here and there but for the most part, yes I've gotten far. Regardless of how far I've gotten, it's nice to come back home.” _Every once in a while._ He wanted to say, but that was far from the truth. Ben hadn't been back to Yavin IV for years, and he never wanted to come back. Once he left, he was gone, never to return.

 

Such a planet only harbored terrible memories. Sadness, loneliness and for the most part, neglect and abandonment from his parents. When he'd finally gotten his seat in the New Republic, at the senate, in addition to getting a new home, he literally found no reason as to why he'd return to the place that brought him the most pain. But ironically there he was, back on Yavin IV in an old cafe he used to go to. Like most things on that planet, it never changed.

 

Sitting across from him was his old childhood friend, Poe, who after his accident involving a fighter, had grown depressed.

 

“Is it really?” Poe chuckled, taking a drink of his water that had been resting on the table. “I can't imagine why anyone would want to come back here, you of all people that is. You hated it here more than anyone.”

 

Ben's face remained solid as he gazed ahead. Poe knew him to well. This was going to be more difficult than he thought. “How are you holding up, since the crash?” Ben knew it wasn't wise for him to ask such a question, but Poe's answer was essential to determining if Ben's time here was worth it.

 

“Well, when you're unable to do the one thing you're good at, “holding up” gets difficult day by day.” Poe shrugged. “So to answer your question, I haven't been doing well. I don't have a purpose Ben.”

 

Ben had taken a sip of his drink before he responded. “Just because you aren't a Republic pilot anymore doesn't mean you don't have a purpose.”

 

Poe then laughed, humorlessly. “I don't think you understand. But I wouldn't expect you too. Things aren't that simple. I'm not versatile, or talented like you. I can't jump from one thing to another Ben..I...I put my all in becoming a pilot. That was my dream, my mother's dream and now it's all gone. I have no purpose; I feel like I'm living each day, dying more and more inside. I don't even know why I'm still here.”

 

Silence followed after that. Unsure of what Poe was thinking, Ben continued to drink his water until there was none left. Their waitress had refilled it in the silence of that moment, though Ben didn't notice her. He was to busy looking on ahead at how dead Poe looked. He looked empty, like his usual enthusiasm had been sucked out of his body. His eyes were dull, with their spark no where to be found. He was almost, if not completely gone.

 

“Ahh Ben. You're giving me that look again. It must be a real bummer coming here only to have me sulk. I didn't mean to dull your day.” Poe sounded genuinely apologetic, and this hurt Ben. He shook his head quickly, but Poe spoke before he could respond. “Enough of my life though, I'm curious about yours. Are you tearing up the senate like I knew you would? You were always doubtful of yourself, but I wonder how amazing you are now.”

 

“I'm one of the most renown and revered senators in the New Republic.” Ben smiled and was warmed when Poe smiled back as well.

 

“I knew you could do it.”

 

“I wouldn't be a senator, if you hadn't encouraged me all those years ago.” Ben sighed, feeling more and more nervous with every second that passed. Being on Yavin IV in general made him anxious. He needed to leave, and if things worked out, he'd be gone within the hour.

 

“Don't credit me for everything Ben.” Poe chuckled. “You had it in you the whole time. Which is why I’m still shocked your back at this old place.” He shifted in his seat. “And you didn't even tell anyone you were coming.”

 

“I didn't want that many people to know I was here.” Ben responded. “It's simple. I don't want to stay here that long either...I hate this place, and I have no reason to return here. Nothing good ever happened here.”

 

Poe's expression was vague, and Ben couldn't really read it, and he knew why for obvious reasons. Regardless, he watched as Poe drank his water impassively before he placed the cup down on the table and mustered his response.

 

“If you hate it so much, then why are you here? I don't get it, you could have gone to any other planet in the galaxy and you show up to the place you hate the most. You may have gotten far, but you always surprise me Ben.” Poe gave a smile. Not a smile of anger, or spite, but the smile that melted Ben's heart. “Go back to the New Republic...go to your big home in the city, and never come back here. This place only brings you sadness...you had your worst days here. But now you're so much better. Don't let this planet bring back sad memories, especially when you have so much to be happy about now. You have no reason to be here...don't let this place....don't let anything here weigh you down.”

 

Ben took a deep breath, seconds before saying a quick prayer to the Makers, and then promptly speaking. “Poe, I have a reason for coming back.”

 

Poe placed his cup down and gazed hard at Ben. “Well forget it silly. Don't let it drag you down. It's probably not that important—”

 

“Poe I came back for you.” Now this panned out differently in his head. He felt like it should have been more epic, not him nervously gripping his cup of water, almost hoping Poe didn't catch the tremble in his voice.

 

“What?” Poe had to catch his breath. “What do you...?”

 

“I hate this place, and I never wanted to come back...but, Poe you changed my life. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be a senator. And—no you inspired me to be here don't try to credit me for that—I want to change your life as much as you changed mine. I'm sorry I didn't come earlier, but I was so busy...When I heard about the crash, I knew I had to find you, even after all these years. I had to be here for you.” Somehow absently, Ben reached his hand across the table and rested his fingers upon Poe's. As seconds passed, he felt Poe's finger's lightly squeeze his.

 

“I can't...I can't go. It's not that simple.”

 

“Yes it is. All you need to do is pack a few things and we'll be on our way.”

 

“Ben, you're a senator. You have a life and a plan ahead of you. I'm not going to get in the way of that—”

 

“Damn it Poe! Stop making excuses! Can't you just put into perspective that you _are_ a part of my plan? My plan hasn't been going the best because a huge chunk of it has been missing, and that chunk is you. So please just say yes—you don't even have a life here, and you know it. You even said you don't have a purpose.” He had perhaps spoken to loud, but he didn't care, he kept on. “And besides, people make adjustments to their plans for the people they love and want to be with for the rest of their lives.”

 

Poe looked at him, wide eyed in silence. Ben frowned. “I hate it here Poe. I really do, and I never wanted to come back, unless it was to get you. And I'm not leaving without you. The longer you decide to stay stubborn...the longer I have to stay here and endure this planet.”

 

“This isn't fair.” Poe protested.

 

“Life isn't fair Poe.” Ben responded, realizing that they were gaining attention. “But I don't really care right now.”

 

Poe shook his head, switching between a smile, a frown and just utter confusion. “Ben, this is...this is a lot.”

 

“I know.” Ben responded. “But you need it...I need it...it's been so hard without you.”

 

Poe nodded, as if he understood just what Ben meant. He took a breath and looked into his friend's eyes. “When are we leaving, again?”

 

“In a few hours. So let's get out of here, and pack your things.”

 

 


End file.
